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CHS Happenings / The Reader Census
We Ran the Numbers on You
746 votes. 10 questions. Eleven weeks. One weirdly specific portrait of a CHS Happenings reader.
746 Votes cast |
10 Questions |
11 Weeks |
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Every week there's a poll sitting right at the top of this thing. Every week a few hundred of you answer it. And every week I filed the results away the way you file receipts — dutifully, in a drawer, without ever actually looking.
Last week I looked.
Ten polls, 746 votes, eleven weeks of unfiltered opinions on beaches, biscuits, Botox, and whether I should write more about zoning meetings. Here's what's in there.
You are not who I would have guessed.
You have already made your decisions
That's the big one. Ask this crowd about a home project and you hit a wall. Two-thirds said the kitchen is fine, leave it alone. Nearly half hard-passed on a backyard pool — though 23% already have one, which explains the confidence. Seven in ten said the AC is brand new. Two-thirds have reviewed their financial plan this year.
That's not frugality. That's a group of people who already handled it.
You're not planning the life. You're living in it.
But you'll drive across town for a sandwich
Vicious Biscuit took the breakfast crown with 45% — more than Callie's and Holey City combined. Someone voted for the gas station. Four someones, actually. No notes, only respect.
The beach war came down to three votes
160 of you weighed in and Sullivan's edged Folly 51 to 48, with Isle of Palms at 39. Three votes, that's the entire margin. Twenty-two of you answered "the pool, like a sane person," which is either the most or the least Charleston response ever recorded.
Botox is the most decided thing in this newsletter
51% hard pass. 41% already do it, some on a first-name basis with the front desk. Only 8% called themselves curious. Nobody in this audience is on the fence about their own face.
And you want me to be more serious than I am
This one surprised me. 86% asked for the same or more local government coverage. Only eight people out of 57 said "less, I come here for the fun stuff." You'd think a newsletter with this much beach-argument content would attract beach-argument people. Apparently you want the zoning docket too.
Same story with Brains & Brews — 69% said they'd come "depending on the topic," the single most honest answer anyone has ever given a poll. Noted. The topic will be good.
Settled money, strong opinions, no patience for renovation, deep tolerance for a biscuit line, and a quiet appetite for the boring civic stuff.
I like you people. Every chart is below.
Part One
The Fights
Three questions where you refused to agree with each other.
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160 votes · June 10
Defend your beach — where are you actually going?
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Photo finish
Sullivan's takes it by three votes. Somebody's cousin decided this.
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| Sullivan's (low-key superiority) | 32% | |
| Folly (chaos, but it's our chaos) | 30% | |
| The pool, like a sane person | 14% | |
The takeaway — 14% of you would rather be in a chlorinated rectangle than on any of the three best beaches in the state. Bold.
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117 votes · August 13
Half the chefs in town are quietly obsessed with banana pudding. What are you actually ordering?
| Banana pudding, and I will fight about it | 38% | |
| Chocolate. Always chocolate. | 28% | |
| I skip dessert and order another drink | 21% | |
| Something citrusy — key lime, lemon, sorbet | 13% | |
The takeaway — The chefs were right. The 21% ordering another drink instead are invited to Dinner Club immediately.
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77 votes · July 9
Where's your ride-or-die Charleston breakfast sandwich?
| Callie's Hot Little Biscuit | 16% | |
| The gas station, no shame | 5% | |
The takeaway — Vicious beat Callie's and Holey City combined. Four of you chose the gas station. No notes, only respect.
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Part Two
The Tells
Five questions that quietly gave away who you are.
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39 votes · July 16
Be honest. How close are you to gutting that kitchen?
| My kitchen's fine, leave me alone | 67% | |
| Saving up and scheming for later this year | 20% | |
| Demo starts basically any day now | 8% | |
| It's a 2027 project (but it's coming) | 5% | |
The takeaway — Two-thirds of you told a real estate broker, in writing, to mind his business. Fair.
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61 votes · June 25
It's 95 and climbing. How close are you to putting in a backyard pool?
| Hard pass, that's what the beach is for | 46% | |
| On the someday list for 2027 | 25% | |
| Already have one (come on over) | 23% | |
| Digging this year (send help, and a contractor) | 7% | |
The takeaway — Easy to hard-pass a pool when almost a quarter of the room already has one.
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45 votes · May 28
First heat wave is here. How's your AC holding up?
| Brand new, bring the humidity | 69% | |
| Hanging in, but it's making noises | 16% | |
| Limping — service call already on the books | 9% | |
| Replacing the whole thing this summer (oof) | 7% | |
The takeaway — Seven in ten of you have a new AC in August in South Carolina. That's not luck, that's planning.
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49 votes · July 23
Real talk, when's the last time you actually looked at your financial plan?
| Reviewed it this year, feel good | 67% | |
| On the list, keep putting it off | 14% | |
| Never had one, probably should | 10% | |
| I am the financial advisor, thanks | 8% | |
The takeaway — Four of you answered "I am the financial advisor." Hello. We should talk.
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76 votes · June 4
Botox, fillers, lasers, the works — where do you land?
| On the appointment carousel (regulars know my name) | 21% | |
| Try it occasionally, nothing scheduled | 20% | |
| Curious, haven't pulled the trigger | 8% | |
The takeaway — 51% out, 41% in, 8% undecided. Nobody in this audience is on the fence about their own face.
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Part Three
What You Want From Me
Two questions I asked for selfish reasons. You answered better than I deserved.
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57 votes · July 30
More local government coverage, or less?
| More, I want to know what's coming | 42% | |
| Less, I come here for the fun stuff | 14% | |
The takeaway — 86% want the same or more. Eight people wanted less. You're a civic crowd wearing a beach hat.
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65 votes · July 2
"Brains & Brews," short expert talks at a local bar. Would you show up?
| Yes, sign me up for the first one | 18% | |
| Love it, but probably won't make it | 2% | |
The takeaway — The most honest answer anyone has ever given a poll. Noted. The topic will be good.
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A note on the math
These are the readers who answered, not a scientific sample of all 11,000+ of you. Sample sizes ran from 39 to 160 per question.
Which means the real finding might be that the people who answer polls at 7 AM on a Thursday are a specific kind of person. I'd argue that's the most interesting group in the newsletter anyway.
New poll at the top of every issue. Keep voting and we'll do this again.
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CHS Happenings · The Reader Census · May 28 – August 13, 2026
